Jojo Shmojo

** Major spoiler alert … Continue reading at your own risk **

Well. Last night was the finale of Jojo’s season of the Bachelorette, and I’m pissed.

I’m pissed because Jojo sent Luke home two rose ceremonies ago. Biggest mistake she made this entire season. The song *Fix You* rang in my ears and I cried watching him leave. I forgave her for not seeing through Chad’s douchebaggery earlier on, but this…. this I cannot forgive. Did Jojo regret sending home the one genuinely kind man left in her group? No.

I’m pissed because Jojo kept saying she had worries about Jordan and felt like she was falling for the same guy she has always fallen for – the bad boy – who ends up breaking her heart. But did she listen to herself? No.

I’m pissed because before the finale I was actually torn about which horrible man I was rooting for, but as soon as the finale started, I chose the only clear winner – Robby. Did Jojo? No.

Now, let me break down how last night’s episode went. Jojo first brought Jordan home to meet her family. Jordan came off as a fun guy, but was low-key really awkward making her family wear ugly hats at dinner. Not so cute. After her overnight with Jordan, they had both agreed that asking her father’s permission to marry his daughter was priority numero uno. By the end of the night, Jordan didn’t even ask. Nice going.

Next, Robby was brought into Jojo’s house. Immediately, her entire family sees how in love he is and how ready Robby was to get married and start a family. Robby has an incredible conversation with Jojo’s parents, asking their permission for their daughter’s hand in marriage, and they give Robby their blessing. Robby also brought Jojo’s father to tears, making this a very special first impression.

After both men were gone, Jojo asks her family’s opinion on both men. The entire family basically says ,”yup Robby.. he’s the one yes absolutely great yes go for it that’s it case closed amazing yay Robby.” Jojo’s dad then adds that Jordan didn’t ask for his blessing, and after hearing that they liked Robby more, Jojo breaks down crying. What?

Jordan eventually realizes he messed up, and he calls Jojo’s parents and receives their blessing via Smart phone in a dramatic last minute scene that totally changed the game- well played.

So – after Jojo’s whole family basically picked Robby for her, after Jojo debates over one man being amazing and smart and handsome and loyal and honest (Robby) versus a man who she’s more sexually attracted to and reminds her of her exes (Jordan), and after the entire universe is screaming at Jojo to pick the man who won’t let her down… Jojo picks Jordan. Brilliant.

I’ll admit… I cried. Not because I was totally in love with Robby as I was with Luke, but because seeing a man so in love with a woman who then stops him mid-monologue while professing his love to her, just to tell him she loves him but isn’t choosing him, is never an easy thing to watch. Robby may not have won Jojo, but this Ken will find his Barbie one day.

Here, we learned a great lesson – when the whole world says go right, Jojo will go left. You do you, girl. Jojo and Jordan were clearly meant for each other, and I’m sure they’re excited to move into their new house in Dallas and enjoy the few months they’ll share before things go south when Jojo steals Jordan’s hair gel. I would never wish bad will onto anyone, but I can’t wait to write about the day they break and say I told you so. Good riddance.

#TeamRobby #MoreLikeTeamLukeButItsTooLateToApologize #Byeeeee

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